Updated: Feb 9, 2020
Powerless is such a loaded word. It comes with so much baggage. My generation of women does not subscribe to the idea that we are “powerless.” Fuck no! Lizzo has encouraged all of us to take a DNA test and prove we are 100% that bitch. Ha!
Accepting that I was powerless over alcohol was difficult for me to digest. Step One did not happen overnight. I did not join A.A. and immediately take the first step. I continued working with my sponsor through the steps, even if I did not understand the steps completely. I eventually came to understand what Step One means to me.
First, it’s important to mention that most people who have a problem with alcohol never realize that their drinking is unmanageable. Only about 30% of alcoholics genuinely recover. I think about how long it took me to understand and accept that I had a severe drinking problem. Had I not accidentally OD, I might not have ever realized that I was suffering from alcohol addiction.
Second, regardless of what I call myself, alcoholic or not, what I know without a doubt is that drinking booze took away my power. It does not matter if I am powerful or powerless, what matters is that when I drink alcohol, I lose my power. I forgot that alcohol is ethanol, and nothing is empowering when drinking ethanol.
So, yes! My inability to accept that alcohol is poison, and that drinking it made me less powerful, created much chaos in my life. Got it!
On to Step Two…