Updated: Jan 29
One thought I try not to entertain is “Will I never drink again?” This thought comes to me when I am feeling low. It longs for a counter thought “of course not! I am going to drink only one, right now.” The cold harsh truth is that if I want a good life, a life not ruled by emotion, I can never drink again. It’s that simple.
Goodbye earthy tones with a heavy body and a touch of vibrant fruit sweetness. Hello, burnt sugar caramel infused with pink Himalaya salt in 72% dark chocolate. It’s not really bad trade. They both have a crazy amount of sugar, which I love, but one doesn’t make me sick in the mornings.
In Oakland, there’s a meeting called: Double Digits, on Wednesday nights. The theme of the meeting is long-term sobriety. Only those with ten plus years of continuous sobriety are invited to speak and the meeting is heavily attended by people who have a lot of time in sobriety.
These folks do not seem to struggle with the longing for a drink. Unlike me, they seem to not drink because they prefer not to. I still do not drink because I can not drink.
Attending Double Digits gives me hope that it is possible to not drink because I do not want to, but I am not there yet, and I won't kid myself.
It’s going to take time and work to be there one day.